Ten Ways to Crush a First Date

By Aidan Demolli

Who knows, this one, well may be “the One.” So how do we design a date that’s going to have her coming back for seconds?

There are so many options when it comes to a first date that it can become pretty overwhelming. Where do we go, do we get food, or maybe just drinks, what should I wear, she said she liked Italian, do we do that? All these questions, all these decisions that need to be made, the sake of your future relies on it. Who knows, this one, well may be “the One.” So how do we design a date that’s going to have her coming back for seconds? Incorporate these steps into your next date and you’ll find woman will be calling and texting you for more as soon as the first date is over.

1. Be Ascertive.

When asking out a woman, the worst thing you can do is to be limp wristed on where you want to take her. So what does this mean for you, have a plan. Know your area, have a general understanding of “what’s good” wherever your from. Have a couple places in mind, I always like to give two or three options, it gives the chance for the other to feel involved. “There’s this really good Thai place, they have a Pad Thai unmatched here in San Diego. Opened last month and is taking the town by storm. Only place tastier than that is this local Spanish bar, their fish tacos cant be beaten. They got a really relaxed deck area, both places have great vibes. What are you in the mood for?” Both options your passionate about, you’ve explained the surroundings, she has an idea of what to expect. Note the way you have involved her in the decision process. Be enthusiastic, show that you are genuinely looking forward to it, communicate to her through your demeanor that she’s in for a good time.

2. The Spot Should Show You in Your Element

If your an avid pool player, pick a spot that has a pool table. If your passion in life is baseball, grab a bite near the the local ball park. Get creative, find your spot and own it. You should be comfortable with your surroundings. You being at ease will carry over to her. This will allow for a better connection to be shared by the two of you. You want your environment to compliment you. It will make for far better conversation. The night will flow much smoother than if you chose a spot you were new to.

3. Don’t Offer to Pick Her Up

You should plan to meet somewhere. Picking her up just brings another stress to the interaction. You won’t be able to give her your full attention, be it you will be driving. That in itself will have started the date off with not the most positive vibe. If at all possible, don’t pick her up. This does however give her more time to flake. But think of it as a bonus because if she does put the effort forward into meeting up with you, investing her own time, shes at least curious as to what you have to offer. Show her!

4. Make your Intentions Clear Right off the Bat.

The quickest way into the friend zone is by being timid. DON’T BE. Don’t be an agrresive asshole, but there should be heavy sexual tension between the two of you. Already the physical attraction is present with her accepting the date, use that. Make strong eye contact, be a gentlemen, get the door/ her chair. When choosing a place to sit it’s best to get a bar top or a table where you sit side by side. This makes the whole scenario much more intimate. You want to be close, if not touching, the closer you are the better you will be able to determine if the two of you have real chemistry.

5. Be Present. Be Engaged

Genuinely listen to what she has to say. The basis to good conversation is being able to listen carefully, and to ask the right questions. Don’t bother with the yes and no generic questions that garner no response. Understand that they will happen, but keep them to a minimum. Let her speak first, take what she says and expand on it. You should have a few go-to topics in the back of your head if conversation gets dry but for the most part listen and ask, and the night will be over before you want it to!

6. Touch Her

This can not be stressed enough. You need to push the physical contact to increase that sexual tension. Don’t force this but throughout the night make moves toward her. Whether its a brush of each other legs, taking her coat off, getting her chair, you will find moments that you should push the boundaries. This will continue to build to when you do finally make your move there will be no chance/want for rejection.

7. Lighten Up

If there is one thing you take from this list, it should be to lighten up. Understand that at the end of the date whether you win her heart or not you won’t be any less ahead or behind than where you started. Don’t take yourself so seriously, enjoy the interaction for what it is. So many guys lose sight of this and in turn lose there heads over the dating scene. So lighten up, laugh, call things for what they are. It might catch her off guard, but the two of you will be quite relieved if you break the normal mundane dating conversation. And For Gods sake don’t talk about the weather, “So this weather has been some kind of hot lately” Unless your dating a meteorologist, the weather is off limits!

6. TOUCH HER

Just to reiterate this you need to make physical contact with her. As stated earlier you must make your intentions clear. Be a man, and show her that. Don’t over due it, she will let you know by her body language if she is accepting your advances or not. If she is keep pushing, you wont regret it. The only regret you will have is if you don’t, and if that’s the case enjoy your awkward hug goodnight, and another evening alone.

8. Show Her your Passions and your Interests

Earlier we talked about listening and asking the right questions. This is the part where you show her a little about you. You should try to relate your interests to hers if at all possible, further creating that connection or bond. Tell her about your Love for cooking, or your new found interest in surfing. It helps to be interesting, That will be another post in itself! Again enlighten her with your hobbies and interests. Woman love to see dedication to something, communicate that by showing her your passions.

9. Make Her Laugh

This goes with lightening up but is equally important. She should be having a great time. You want her to create an image of you that is synonymous with a good time. You want to be playful, playfully teasing her, poking fun at her and your surroundings. Get a feel for her sense of humor. Don’t be afraid to make it sexual. They say we think about sex every four seconds, don’t lie to yourself and think shes not thinking about it. It really is important that you don’t take yourself too seriously. Enjoy the evening, get a feel for the woman. Understand that you ultimately should be in control of the direction of the night.

10. Don’t, for even a Second, think you have to Settle

Understand that she will be evaluating you over the entire night, On what your wearing, how you smell, how you talk, how you eat, everything you do, will be noticed. That being said, evaluate her. Make sure she is up to par to your standards, “looks” gentleman can only go so far. Don’t lower your bar for the wrong reasons, There are an ever increasing amount of consequences for that behavior. Test her, find out if she herself is worthy of a second date from you.

On closing

On closing your encounter,  its time to pay the bill. Some will disagree, but as a rule, on the first date the man will pay. If she offers, decline once, if she insists let her cover the tip. Your investing in her not that she owes you anything yet but in the fact that this is the start of hopefully a flourishing connection. By this time you hopefully have created quite the bond, enough so that the two of you rate a kiss or three. Say goodnight, don’t go home with her after the first date, even if she asks you too. Wait it out for the second or third night together. Incorporate these steps into your next date and watch the attraction grow. Still can not stress the importance of physical communication. It is everything when you want to move forward in an interaction. But again don’t settle for anything less than perfection. You’ll know it when you see her, you’ll feel it, hear it from her for that matter.

-Aidan

“You attract people by the qualities you display You keep them by the qualities you possess”

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